Are you someone who thinks hard about things and tends to stick to your guns in arguments? Do your arguments often get heated? Then this life-tactic is for you. (‘Old souls’ and the like can safely ignore this particular lifeline, because they will have been using it all their life.)
I call it a ‘tactic’ and not a strategy because if you were to adopt it indiscriminately, then you would be likely to turn into a Dale Carnegie robot—making friends and influencing people (as you would) but rarely being yourself. This is just a tactic, something to keep handy, like a tool—a habit to call on when it seems likely to be useful.
It is ultra-simple.
The idea is this. Every now and then, when you are about to say something, think:
• ‘Is there something the other person would like to hear me say?’
Then, instead of saying what you were about to say, say it. Say what they would like to hear you say.
And say it straightforwardly, even if it takes an effort. For example, avoid using a sarcastic tone to say, “You’re right,” or “Yes,” or “That was stupid of me.” Even if you would much rather say something else, say what you now can, and mean it.
Remember: you don’t have to believe it. You just have to try saying it, and meaning it.
The outcome may surprise you.